Blaugust #3: Hobbies
I've been trying to find new hobbies lately. Part of me is hoping I can make new connections through them, and that's a big part of it, but I also just... need to unplug. I guess. Not really "unplug" - most of my hobbies recently have been computer-based - but unplug from social media and focus on things other than loneliness and who called out who and what tragedy has occurred this time.
It's hard to do hobbies when you're housebound, when you can make it to the store to get materials maybe once every 1.5 months, when your body siphons your energy out all the way when you do so much as take a shower. So I've been trying to find hobbies that don't inflame that - things I can do at home with materials I have on hand or, when I get my DAC benefit check each month, materials I can buy cheaply online. And of course, things that won't make my disability worse. (I wanted to do soapmaking for a brief moment, but then I realized the materials you'd have to handle are probably not great for me and my clumsiness to be handling).
Anyway, I've been interested in self-hosting websites my whole life. I actually did run a community online when I was 9---though it wasn't self-hosted, it was on freewebs/webs.com, and I used the blog feature to make a little social community. Except I had no friends, so it was mostly my family and a few of my mom's friends blogging there. Still, a pretty cool thing for a 9 year old to be interested in, I think. I was also out here before that, doing like fake websites using certain Microsoft Word features to mimic one. I've always loved websites.
(No, I was never supervised on the internet ever, and yes, I have been on the internet since, like, 5. What of it?)
Anyway, I always thought self-hosting was out of my range of abilities. I thought domain names must have cost like hundreds of dollars and I had no income until 2023. I never thought it was possible for me, even if running internet fandom communities has been a dream of mine for a decade.
And so.... yeah, I'm "cheating" a bit. I started with RunTipi and Yunohost, but it's giving me the foundations I need, I think. I found the Linux command line interface pretty easy to learn after my first Ubuntu install, somehow. And I'm getting more familiar with how to do things in the "meat" of the computer; e.g. files and not one-click deployments like the aforementioned services offer, as I wish to do more customization on the sites I have developed.
But you gotta start somewhere. Right? I am GETTING there. A lot of my ultimate self-hosting goals are too ambitious for a beginner to even try focusing on, so I won't list them here. But somehow I find every mistake I make here to be not too horribly stressful but rewarding. When I tried to go college I made it 3 weeks before dropping out because I was so much of a perfectionist, so having any mistake in my work pointed out sent me spiralling. (I was an English major then). But this is different than that was. Maybe it's because I'm 4 years older now, I don't know. I just am now able to see my mistakes as opportunities to grow - overall, really, not just in a computerhobby sense - when I was never able to see that before. Is it frustrating a bit? Yes, but everything is at some point in your life.
Other hobbies I want to try: hand quilting.
One of my mother's friends I had never met before presented me with a handmade quilt on the first day we met. It was rainbow, pride themed. One of the best and most meaningful gifts I have ever been given and it means the world to me. That got me interested in quilting, and then I saw this gallery of Orville-themed quilts on Reddit, and I decided holy shit I have to learn how to do this.
I'm just not very good with my hands, sadly. That clumsiness again. I went to Waldorf school, which (at least in mine) often requires you to take handiwork class, learning knitting, sewing, and crochet. I was always about three projects behind the rest of the class, because of my autistic coordination issues, and everyone in the class - including the teacher - belittled me for it. I've just never been good at working with fine movement. But maybe I can get at least a little better at it. And if not, I can always try crochet! That was always the easiest one for me.
(Seriously, our 4th grade final project was a knitted lion, and my lion looked like Mufasa post-fall. I left the school the following year.)
I have a lot of crochet dolls that mean a lot to me, like the Erica Ortegas doll I just bought, and the custom Fifth Doctor doll my mom commissioned for my 17th birthday. I like working with these kinds of hobbies on my own time in my own ways, to reclaim it back from that teacher, who sucked the love for handicraft right out of me with each "Why aren't you getting this?"
Let's see... what else? I love cooking and I especially love cheese, so I'm thinking of trying to learn how to make cheese. It sounds so fun and I would love to be able to add more homemade items to cooking routine. I think it would also be fun to try and get into bookbinding but again: hands. But I see so many people make awesome books out of their favorite fanfiction and I HAVE to do that someday, even if it's just printed out at the little local bookprinting shop (author permission statement allowing, of course.)
We also have a bunch of unused adult coloring books and about ten million unused journals. I used to be really into journalling, but it makes my hands hurt to write for too long, but it IS relaxing just to sit down and color some pretty pages.
I'm trying to document each different kind of bird I see in my backyard (since I rarely can leave the house). It's been fun. It's a special treat when I get to see a predator bird or a big crow, they're so cool.
Anyway, I used to wonder how I could have a fulfilling life without being able to go to work or school or have many friends. I think the answer is just having fun and doing things for other people. I think the answer is letting my hobbies enrich me and connect me to others.
The answer is always creativity.
What are your hobbies? Feel free to email me thoughts at alienhospitals @ gmail.com, or at my guestbook, here.